Powerful And Unpolished

Welcome back everybody. This is Tim Salmans. I am your host of Powerful and unpolished. We have another episode to. Offer up to you today and, one of my powerful friends, companions, colleagues, Nanette Levin from book conductors. Is here with me. This is what the third or fourth episode that we've done together.

I think we've done a few at least. Yeah. I just love bantering back and forth with Nanette and we pull out a subject and we explore it and we let what naturally comes out raw experience, for the topic. So the topic that I picked for today is What's right with the world. It's so common for us to experience people sharing with us or us sharing with other people what's wrong with the world, what's wrong with people?

What's wrong with situations, but what's right? And if we were a little bit more generous with what's right in the world, how would it show up? I'm gonna kick it off real quick before I throw this over to Nanette. but I'm gonna kick it off. I did a search through AI and asked how many thoughts a day does the average human being have?

And it estimated between 50 and 70,000 thoughts per day for the average human being. And then I asked how many of those are negative. And it said it's estimated that 70 to 80% can be negative depending on the individual's mindset and circumstances. So we're gonna push that little dial, hopefully a little bit more towards center to see if we can offer up a little bit more positivity that might open possibility.

I don't know. What are your thoughts, Nanette, as I'm rolling this out? I think it's a great idea. Good. yeah, there's a lot going on in our world. before Nanette and I, jumped on this podcast, we were sitting here chatting and, with all the stuff we've got going on, it was nice to, she had shared with me about her current stove.

And I was like, that's pretty positive. So share with Nanette what we were talking about when we were talking about, I was actually in the negative world talking about some of our recent struggles with some appliances and Nanette shared with me about her stove. Sure. I moved into this house about 10 years ago and it came with appliances, all of which failed within about a month of my moving in.

But the stove continues to run 10 years later, and this stove has gotta be from the fifties, possibly even forties. It's an electric stove and. It's just so simple. Nothing goes wrong with it. The oven works. The stove works. Probably needs a little bit of a cleaning, but other than that, no issues. I don't have any computers or electronics or anything else.

It just plugs into the wall and I have replaced one heating unit that failed. I was able to just order online for that, and that's it. Just one heating element and everything else has worked perfectly, and it's older than I amm by quite a bit. So it's probably fair to say that, the, stove is paid for itself, right?

stove didn't have a, an actual cost because It came with the house. Yeah, I agree. And, they didn't charge me extra for appliances. None of these appliances were top of the line stuff. It was a rental and just whatever they threw in there to get the tenants to not complain. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, that's a little fun diversion.

it was kinda like, here, let's talk about appliances, but. as we talk about here on powerful un polished, it's, really about what's possible. who are we, how are we showing up? If we have the opportunity to create our day, how are we creating it? I recently asked a client I was working with, I said, and it's in a similar vein of what we're talking about, is it is one of those things where we can get on these tangents of struggle and strife and complaining and things like this.

I asked this client, I said, so let me ask you, when you are in struggle of a situation and it is really bringing you down, does going to someone else and voicing it make it better or worse? And thankfully, this client started to chuckle and laugh and was like. It makes it worse. It's a great question. So what is it in us?

I get that we wanna that I get why we share our struggles to decompress. that's, I understand that, but it's almost like we, we lose the, intellectual possibility of who we are. When we go into the pattern of, you know what, this is what's wrong with politics, or this is what's wrong with our country, or This is what's wrong with my job, or This is what's wrong with blah, blah, blah.

let me ask you, Nanette, do you, of the statistics that I read, does that sound or seem like that's fairly accurate? 70 to 80% of our thoughts are, have a tendency to be negative? it depends on who you're talking about. I, know a lot of people where that percentage is higher than I would say for myself.

that's probably accurate. When I'm talking to myself about myself, I tend to be a pretty big critic of me and my actions, but, and this wasn't always the case, but I think now. That number would be very high for me when I look at other stuff, I don't get involved in political discourse. I don't talk religion.

I don't go to subjects where it's a lose And so I don't tend to occupy my mind with that kind of stuff. I just move on and go find something else to do, paint or garden or play with my dogs if I need a respite. But, going back to your point for a moment, I, find it interesting that your client responded that it makes it worse because I find, at least for me, when I'm really struggling, if I write it down.

It becomes like a purge. If I work through it, write it down, express it, then I can walk away from it. That's a great distinction though. It's because when you're doing the purge, it's, different than what I'd say is traditional gossip or a gossip type, pattern of here, let me tell you, my woes The ain't it awful competition. Yeah. Yeah. it's the, walking around with the hand of the forehead. You think you got it bad? Yeah. and there is. This is, why I love this. This is, we didn't, script this today, but it's let's see where this goes. So it's really that aspect of, and I share a lot in the work that I do is around ego, ego awareness and the difference between our healthy ego, our essential ego, and then you have your toxic ego, which is so predominant.

And it's, that aspect of when we are in. These sort of woe is me griping, not, the purge that you're talking about. Not the healthy releasing of the struggle, but the, just regurgitating of the situation. what do you think, what ego portion do you think that is speaking to the, regurgitation and stuff like this?

Is it, is that our healthy ego? Is that our toxic ego? What would you think? Obviously it's the toxic ego and it goes to, the whole idea that you attract what you think about and dwelling on challenges in a negative way tends to bring more challenges or, tends to. Cause you to focus on the challenges instead of the opportunities, in my opinion.

and that's, where I think this is, this is apropos. it, I don't think people genuinely, intentionally want to go and add gasoline to their fire. I think they do. I think some people really. Live for the conflict for the, I'm not saying that's a universal truth, but I've definitely met people that don't feel fulfilled if they don't have something to complain about.

I wholeheartedly agree with you there. I've actually, I knew someone who, in relationships, would create fights and arguments because they wanted the makeup and it was just like. Wow, that's, wow. I was like, here, let's, burn down the house so that we can feel good about building a new foundation.

it's oh, that's crazy. but I also think too that a lot of times when people are in these awarenesses, I agree with you. Some people really do work to do this, but I think a lot of people. Oftentimes, my guess is it comes out as more pattern awareness. It's more the, and it's not awareness.

They're just in a pattern. It's, very, easy to get into a gripe session. I've done it several times in my life. we're human being myself. Yes. So the aspect is it's it's kinda yeah. You get that kind of visceral charge, and it's oh, I feel like I, I've accomplished something.

And then when you check in with yourself, it's no, it's actually made the, fire burn hotter. it's not really resolving much of anything. Does that make sense? Sure, And so it's, interesting, I, always explore this because I'm thinking how is the, ego that pretty much is, cre part of our creative life?

When it's involved, is it, being positive or is it being neutral, or is it being negative? Depends on the person. Depends on the situation. And when. When the ego is at play, where does our authenticity live? That's what. I gotta get, I get this look from Nanette. That's awesome. it's what the hell are you talking about?

no, I'm thinking that depends on the person too. Oh, it does, I don't know. it's, part of this aspect of picking this topic today was, what is right with the world and as an individual who has patterns, who has, Their ego and whether it's predominant toxic or predominant essential ego.

how common are we to look for things that are positive in our everyday space? How, 'cause we can have all the excuses in the world or all the rationalizations and justifications, but I think that's the pertinent question is, do you look for possibility? And maybe positivity. I'm not telling you to go be, Pollyanna, what did they call it back?

Yeah. Pollyanna. it's not being disconnected, but it's also not wallowing in the misery. And it's almost, I don't know about you, but my experience is people have a tendency is wallowing in the misery is a little bit more familiar than the positivity. I'll tell you what I'm really seeing today is people, it seems to me.

The, bigger people try to go with their communication and their causes, the more negative they become. I see people operating in positivity in their own little microcosm of the world. But I've seen pretty unilaterally. And you can talk about everything from politics and protests to social, circumstances and causes to technology.

it just doesn't matter. It seems like the more people want to affect a larger majority toward change, the more negative they get. Particularly today, what do you think, what do you think is the driving force or influence of that community? I really do. I think that unfortunately community, at least in this country right now, seems to be driven predominantly by negativity, fear.

Yeah. negativity is driven by fear. At least from my primary experience of witnessing it for so many years, it's yeah, when people are negative, it's, fear-based. And I get why people are afraid. I'm, afraid too, but I'm not focusing my time and energy right now. And this hasn't always been the case for me on bigger things that I can't control.

As a result, personally, and this hasn't always been the case for me either, I'm finding that I have an increasing number of people coming into my life, whether that be clients or friends or other that are predominantly positive with their outlooks and living in gratitude. Also, something I haven't always been awesome at.

And it has had a profound effect on how my days go. So the positivity you're noticing has influenced your personal path? certainly influenced my attitude and it has seemingly increased my opportunities. Nice. Now has it, the positivity, what was it that, what was it that. Were you open? All right.

I'm going three different questions right here, so I'll distill it down to this question. When someone first was bringing you positivity, what was your initial reaction or response? it felt great. I started it, it actually started on the client side effects where I was bringing in and working with authors whose perspectives were tilted toward positive.

In every circumstance, these were people that were working hard, to maintain perspectives that served them, and at the same time working hard to dismiss people and perspectives that didn't. And just having an hour long conversation with them during the course of the day, and it was business related, impacted how the rest of my day felt and went.

So to, to your point about positivity in the world, I think people who live in that realm often do it in a way where it becomes contagious. Nice. Nice. It's, I love that. It's what I love about that and it, and what it highlights is, I ask this question a lot of clients I work with, are you conditioned?

'cause we're all conditioned and programmed. We've talked about that numerous times and it's in the book that I have. But, through all of our conditioning and programming. I often ask, are we, are you specifically conditioned to struggle and strife or conditioned to possibility? And it's like the statistics about 70 per 75%, they'll admit there's, they're conditioned to struggle and strife.

Not that they, that's what they want, not that they's their intention. And that's why when we have the awareness of the patterns that trip us back into those. That energy, right? Having those patterns come to our, for the forefront of our awareness and go, oh, wait a minute. Part of the reason why my day, my path, my, my relationship with this person or that person is challenged is I keep coming at it with an old pattern.

And what else is possible? What else is po potentially positive? Because if you really think about it, and that's the one thing is you hear in the media, the news. this is, I've been watching this for years where people might be saying something that seems nice and positive, but it's look at how they're tone.

Look at how they're asking the questions. Look how they're, like, they're trying to get, this interviewer is trying to get someone in a corner or and you're like going, wow. It's, they need. They need ratings. They need, That's their business. I have to say, and we kind, I have to laugh at the surveys I'm getting in the mail now that all start with, this is an unbiased survey and as I read the questions, all I can say is.

Bullshit. the questions are so pointed in the way they're worded. It's clear to me what they're going to conclude from the surveys, no matter how you answer them.

And does that make you, does that make you smile? Does that make you wanna pull your hair out? A combination of it makes me, I, and I have to just share a really quick story. I used to work with a gentleman who was actually my mentor for years. He had a 12 year background in the advertising industry, and he was just an absolute brilliant creative.

And one of the things that he taught me that I still do to this day is to open. Every piece of mail because you never know what kind of creative ideas you're gonna find from how advertisers are putting themselves out there and vice versa. I, just enjoy finding the humor in those kinds of situations.

And sometimes I write about it. Yeah. It's, even, the media, it's a, we, forget being the observer of media. That it's seeking payment, either payment from our attention, payment from our finances, payment for our emotional, mental support. when we're watching something, the concept of objectivity is you gotta walk a long distance in this world to find someone who's really well practiced.

In the art, and it is an art of objectivity. Would you agree? that's certainly something that's changed in the media. It used to be that the bar was about being objective, and that has totally changed. But one thing that hasn't changed in the media, and there have been so many studies on this to support it, is people are more interested in negative news than they are in positive stories and.

Stations that have tried to skew toward positive in many cases have failed because people wanna watch bad news. People wanna, people are, people want to complain. I don't know that they want to complain. People complain about the traffic as they're going by a car wreck that they're slowing down and almost running into someone because they're trying to look and see what happened in the car wreck.

It's like going, is that really any of your business? other than the fact of, oh, I saw this amazing head-on collision and blah, blah, blah. There had to be fatalities and oh, it, gets more amped up because it's more dramatic. It's and this is why I love, bantering with you going back and forth 'cause.

That is one of the key factors that I think, and it, you talked about community and I'm very much in, in alignment when you're talking about community is, a key element. But when you get people that are so more interested in drama, more interested in glorifying their trauma, it tends towards negativity.

Would you agree? Or not? Oh, no, I, definitely agree. But I want to hear about what as positive in the world.

What I see as positive in the world is the potential, is the fact that the individual is a self-sustaining, creating organism on their path. Their path is unique to them. You're different than me. I'm different than you. And so when we actually open up to what is it that drives me today? What is it that, when I think about positivity, I do this exercise with myself probably at least once a week, where the exercise is what is positive in my life, like what's positive in the world.

we don't have nuclear anything going off right now, so that's a positive thing for me, the comparison, right? Because people keep telling me how bad the news is and I'm like going, the sun's shining. we're getting, consistent rain. So we are not dealing with wildfires. I was able to tell my wife I loved her, and she was able to tell me, my pains don't stop me from moving forward.

My passions drive me in moving forward. A lot of what you're seeing positive in your life is counter negatives. It could be worse. And the thing is, it's the reason why I'm highlighting this exercise is when you're dealing with people who are predominantly stuck in a negative cycle of thinking, maybe the first step to get out of that cycle of thinking is what is the counter to it?

Because for me, when I'm actually really, what is positive in the world is I get choice. I get to go out and do something today. I don't have to crusade for anybody other than my path. And if I have the ability to choose and create my life today, what do I get to do with it? And do I do it with the freedom of the saboteur thinking or the negative thinking that's in all of us.

To where it's like going, yeah, but I should have done more. I've gotten pretty good at going, you know what, this is what I got done today. I got tomorrow. That's pretty positive. A lot of people don't have tomorrow. So for me it was like, I didn't, when I suggested this title to you, it was like, I don't want it to go total Pollyanna.

'cause I could sit there and be like going, the sun is shining. we got vacations coming up, we've got, friends that we meet. it's where do we actually relish the good that's in our life, the good that's on our path, the good that we actually invite in to create. Because it's when we invite that in to create it, that's the positivity.

But it's not for positivity's sake, it's for constructive sake. At least that's my experience. Do I sound like I'm like Pollyanna? No, not at all. and I, can relate. for me it's the little things and noticing the little things and enjoying the little things. Yes. And, I love your question.

When you asked it back to me, what is it that I see as positive? And for me, one of the biggest things, and it goes to what you just shared, the little things and you had shared about community. And in my heart of hearts, what comes to me as, a deep truth for myself, hopefully for others, but definitely for myself, is this,

if you want something positive in this world, if you want community in this world, if you want the little things to matter, it's about having grace and it's about having grace with ourselves and how we talk to ourselves and how we treat ourselves, and how we measure out. Positive versus challenging thoughts as we develop our relationship with our own ego and the healthy part of it and the unhealthy part of it so that we know the difference and when we have grace with ourselves, that can allow us to be strong enough to stand up and have fricking grace for people outside of us.

That's the difference for me. How about for you? That's my crusader thing. No, sounds good. I'll take one of those. but yeah, that's, it's, and if, you are a person that does, who's listening to this, who does find that maybe you are conditioned to struggle in strife more than you like, just having that awareness is positive.

Far, far, too often we are running on autopilot and the autopilot just keeps regurgitating what's familiar, which is why we get hooked by the trauma and drama from social media or regular media or everyday gossip. So what's positive in your world? Oh, lots of stuff. Enjoying a nice balance of physical and cerebral and work and hobby and all of that.

We've got cooler weather coming, which I'm really excited about. It's been brutally hot and humid here all summer, so I'll be doing a lot outside in the next week, which I truly enjoy. I love that. we've gone around the, topic. We could keep talking on this and just go into different, perspective awarenesses and things like that.

But the reason I wanted to bring this out into the world is to recognize that we're never. We're never not dealing with the counter mask. We're never, when we deal with positivity, there is, sure, there is a darker side to things, and when we're dealing with the darker side, there is a positive side to things.

And the question is, are you as an individual engaged to value yourself enough to put choice? Into where you put your energy to the lighter side of a situation or the darker side of a situation. Where do you get filled up as an individual? Do you get filled up from positive interactions or do you get filled up from negative interactions and ask yourself, is it adding or detracting from the quality of your own life?

So that's my thoughts there. Anything, any last thoughts for you? No, that sounds great to me. I, will dwell on it. and I, this is, I didn't plan on doing this, but, I'm going to do this 'cause it's just part of what happened is, Nanette and I. I just love the heck out of this woman. she's just such a divine colleague and friend.

shared with her that, we just lost a friend who passed away. And it's one of those things where Annette offered up to me, do we wanna reschedule? And I was like, no, I can honor this friend for who we are. And this person who has transitioned and went on to their next journey in their expression of their soul.

this person is just, was such a impactful, she always used to call everybody lovey, especially, us. So she was very much, she's hi lovie. and so great. And her name was Vicki Morrissey. And Vicki is a divine soul. Always has been. Now she's a divine angel. And I just share this because we could be stuck in reaction, but we were creative today.

We honored Vicki. We honored each other. We honored. Our choice and what our commitment was, which is to put this voice out into the world and hope that it's positive and supportive for those who are seeking something more supportive and positive on their path. To send this out to those of you that are listening, we do always wish you the best.

We wish you possibility and positivity. We wish that you have compassion for yourself and grace for others, and we wish that on your walk, your challenges grow you, but your possibilities open you up to the true essence of who you are. So until next time, I wish you all the best. I wanna thank Nanette for showing up today and supporting, and, we will do this again.